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When You Want People to Change, Get Specific
February 16th, 2025
by Bill Boyajian

You do it. I do it. We all do it.

We label people in the workplace with broad terms that are supposed to get them to change. And, unfortunately, the way we describe our people problems tends to be the way we try to solve them.

Here are some ways we label people in the workplace:

He’s a control freak. She’s too sensitive. He’s self-centered. She lacks initiative. He procrastinates. She’s too emotional. He’s a prima donna. She’s not committed. He’s lazy. She can’t make a decision. He’s “old school.” She’s out of touch.

While characterizing people with these broad terms, we also try to get them to change their ways with equally broad mandates that never get the results we want. Moreover, our generalities simply create defensiveness at best, and anger and bitterness at worse.

Instead, we need to get specific with people so they understand exactly what we mean and how they can change themselves – and change the perception others have of them – by identifying exactly what needs to change and how to make that change. The most critical skill you need to develop is to a) precisely state what you want done, b) get agreement from that person that they will do it, c) clarify the consequences if they don’t perform, and d) follow through by doing what you said you would do.

So next time you are tempted to tell someone they are sensitive, lazy, self-centered, overly controlling, a procrastinator, or out of touch with reality, catch yourself from being too general and instead get granular by succinctly describing what needs to change. It’s the only way you will get real change.



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